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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?